How to Write Thank You Notes

On my 16th birthday, my Grandmother sent me a present.  I don’t remember exactly what the present was, but I do remember the card.  It said: 

“This is the last present I will ever give you.  You are an adult now, and I’ve never received a thank you note from you.  Since it is clear my gifts aren’t appreciated, I feel no further obligation to send them.”

My 16th birthday gift was the last present I received from her.

Sometimes a phone call doesn’t show enough gratitude.  She taught me the value of a proper thank you note.  

As an adult, mastering the thank you note is invaluable.  It can be used for networking, building friendships, and getting jobs.  This is a skill every adult must master regardless of profession.

When To Send A Thank You Note

Send a tangible form of thanks anytime you receive a gift or someone goes out of their way to help you.  If friends all came over to help you move, they deserve a thank you note.  Did your mom send you a finals care package?  Thank you note for mom.  Birthday gifts?  Get out the stationary!

From a professional standpoint, thank you notes should be sent after every interview and every new client meeting.  In the professional world, thank you notes help build lasting relationships.  

Yes, writing all those thank you notes can be a pain. But as adults it is always better to aim for gratitude and kindness than be perceived as thoughtless and ungrateful.

What is the appropriate level of thanks?

Not every action or gift requires a hand written note.  Most things allow for more organic forms of thanks.  

It is possible to send thanks via phone call, text message, direct message (DM), social media, email, and snail mail.  The medium in which the thank you note is delivered is as important as the note itself.

Phone Call

Phone calls are the most informal form of thanks and as such should be used sparingly.

Give the person a call to thank them if only if they are essentially family and the gift is routine, small, or unexpectd during a trying time.  In other words, call if they are small reminders to think about or call them.

For example, my dad and I trade books.  He will read a book and if he injoys it he will drop it in the mail.  I do the same.  It is our own little book club.  When I get a book in the mail, I call to thank him and let him know I got it.  These books are an excuse to talk as much as anything, so they are worth picking up the phone.

Small gifts include cards we send eachother for valentines day.  They are small, more or less expected, and another excuse to just get on the phone and talk.

Unexpected gifts tend to be care packages during particularly busy times.  If mom sends your favorite chocolate during finals, give her a quick call.  More isn’t really expected.

Text Message/ DM

Text messages and DMs should only be used if this is a major mode of communication of the person who gave the gift.  

This starts to become a gray area when working predominatly online.  Most formal correspondance should take place at least over email, but if you work as a freelancer this may not always be an option.  Send DMs to clients and collaborators with only if there is no other means of communication.

Email

Email is mostly used for business and professional connections.  Send an email when starting a new client relationshp.  Also be sure to send at least an email thank you note after each interview to each interviewer.

Snail Mail

The snail mail is not dead.  It is still expected to send one for every gift recieved associated with a milestone.  This includes birthdays, weddings, graduations, and having a baby.  

In business, snail mail notes are used to encourage repeat business.  Send them after finishing a project, preforming a service, or with a purchase to encourage repeat business.  

Social Media

Only send a social media thank you as part of promoting a business.  Use it to thank a business for providing good customer service, or as a business/ brand to thank collaborators.

Never use social media to thank someone for something that should be private.  

What should be in a Thank You Note?

I learned how to write a thank you note from Lemony Snicket.  His advice is:

Lemony Snicket’s Advice on Writing a Nice Thank-You Note

1. Do not start with the thank you.

2. Start with any other sentence. If you first say, “Thank you for the nice sweater,” you can’t imagine what to write next. Say, “It was so wonderful to come home from school to find this nice sweater. Thank you for thinking of me on Arbor Day.”

3. Then you’re done.

I recommend learning how to write a very good thank-you note. A child who can write a nice thank-you note can turn into a cocaine dealer five years later and be remembered as the child who wrote nice thank-you notes.

I have found this advice to really be all you need when writing a thank you note, especially one on paper.  Don’t feel you need to fill up space or do anything long or elaborate.  Just express gratitude.

So here are some ways to do that:

Via Text

When thanking someone via text, don’t keep it simple.  Just take a picture of you using the gift (if there was one) and say thanks.  If possible say thanks in a way that shows their gift was helpful.

For example, if you get a care package during finals, take a picture of you eating something that was sent and caption it “Studying thermo is much better with this chocolate.  Thanks!” 

On social media

Remember to never make something public that until now has been private unless it is meant to be announced it to the world.  

Only use social media to send a thank you note for something that is already public.

For example: let’s say an appliance broke a week after warentee ended, so you went on twitter to contact the company.  The company DMs and agrees to replace the item.  At that point the company did somehting they did not need to inorder to build good will.  

If you are happy with everything, consider posting something like “@[customer service representative who helped you] from @[company name] did a fantastic job helping replace my appliance.  Thanks!”  This kind of a shoutout can help get the customer service rep a promotion. 

Also use social media to thank someone when the intent is to thank and announce something at the same time.  Maybe you just started a big collaborative project with another company.  Use social media to say somehting like “Looking forward to working with @<company work with> on <big project name>”

 While not directly a thank you, you are thanking them by informing your followers and probably giving them followers in the process.

Snail Mail

As an example, let’s consider a graduation gift.  Your thank you note may look like this:

Dear Aunt Sue,

I just finished packing everything for college in the luggage you got me.  I can’t wait to take it on the semester abroad I’ve been planning.

Thanks!

Jamie

How to write a business Thank You Note

Business thank you notes are a bit more formal than Lemony Snicket’s rules reflect.  Luckily most business emails and notes follow a formula.

After an Interview

[Greeting] [Interviewer’s name],

Thank you for taking the time to meet with me on [interview date and time].  It was such a pleasure to learn more about [the team and position].  

I’m excited about the opportunity to join [Company Name] and help [something interesting you would be doing].  [An optional sentence on what you can bring to the team] [Optional sentence on what you can learn from the team]

I look forward to hearing from you about the next steps in the hiring process.  Please do not hesitate to contact me if I can provide additional information.

I look forward to working with you soon!

Sincerely,

[Your Name]

[Your Contact Information]

For example:

Hello Leslie,

Thank you for taking the time to meet with me this morning.  It was such a pleasure to learn more about the science program coordinator position.  

I’m excited about the opportunity to join the STEM 911 team in createing a new program to increase science litteracy.  14 years of teaching and tutoring science at the high school and college levels has given me a plethora of ideas I would love to try.  It will be interesting to see how many of my ideas will work with your distance learning format.

I look forward to hearing from you about the next steps in the hiring process.  Please do not hesitate to contact me if I can provide additional information.

I look forward to working with you soon!

Sincerely,

Jane J Reid

(123) 456-7890

janejreid@stem911.com

After a New Client Meeting

There isn’t one set way to thank an new client or customer, but it is important to thank them.  When thanking a new customer, take into account what kind of survice they are puchasing.  

Are they just purchasing a widget?  Is this someone you could form a partnership with in the future?  Did they purchase a service that may require a longer-term relationship?

Keep all this in mind while writing your thank you note.

Check out the following for examples for different types of thank you notes for different types of customers/ clients:

• Writing the Perfect Customer Thank You Note [+ Examples]
• How to Say Thanks to a Client or Customer for Their Business
• 7 Sample Thank You Notes for Business

After meeting a new Mentor

Mentors are vital in the academic and white collar worlds.  The right mentor can open doors you never could have immagined.  

After meeting with your mentor for the first time or when they help you with something particularly tricky or meaningful, it is a good idea to send them a thank you note.  

Check out these articles for example thank you notes to mentors:

• Thank You Letter to Mentor (WIth Samples and Tips)
• Thank You Message for a Mentor Samples of What to Write in a Card

Wrapping it all up

Thank you notes are a powerful tool for networking and expressing gratitude.  They are incredibly useful tools to maintain long erm friendships and professional relationships.

Take the time to master this art.  It will make life run just a little bit smoother.

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